The causes of infidelity in relations

09 Aug The causes of infidelity in relations

In the search for the causes of infidelity in relations, many therapists look for the lack of or like poor communication between man and woman. They say that in cold of a communication breakdown both parties look for warmth, acceptance, and approval elsewhere.

Sexuality is a strong human emotion, which is naturally activated by the sight and sound of sexual stimuli.

Experts have observed that talking intimately, that is, about private aspects of your personal life, with the opposite sex can ignite sexual feelings.  In other words verbal openness with someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse begets impulses to sexual openness.  Closeness of understanding invites impulses to become close sexually. It just happens and it is not about being a moral or immoral person.

Those are some of the general reasons for infidelity. Separate reasons for men and women include the following:

Why men cheat

Major reasons that may make a man look elsewhere are frequent conflict at home, disrespect, and the loss of the spouse’s attractiveness. Passion is mostly driven by imagination and fantasy, while familiarity tends to kill them. From years of living with a partner you tend to know so much about her that there is little to fire the imagination or excitement you would get from outside.

Clearly, obvious reasons for sexual avoidance are lack of physical attractiveness because of poor personal hygiene, body weight, and failure to dress in a manner which one’s partner prefers.

Sexual disorders and addiction expert Robert Weiss has an impressive list of other reasons:

A liar: He never intended to be monogamous, despite his commitment. He doesn’t understand that his vow of fidelity is a sacrifice made to and for his relationship and the person he professes to love. This man views monogamy as something to be worked around rather than embraced.

Insecure: Deep down he feels that his is too young, too old, too fat, too thin, too poor, too stupid, or too whatever to be desirable. He uses flirtation porn, and extramarital sex as a way to feel better about himself, to reassure himself that he is still desirable, worthwhile, and “good enough.”

Immature: He thinks that as long as his wife/girlfriend/partner doesn’t find out, he’s not hurting anybody. He doesn’t understand that significant others near always know when something is up. He doesn’t “get it” that his partner will eventually find out what’s been going on, and when that occurs it won’t be pretty.

Damaged: Perhaps he is acting out early trauma experiences, such as physical abuse, neglect, or sexual abuse. His formative wounds have left him unable or unwilling to fully commit himself to one other person. He may also seek sexual intensity outside his relationship as a way to self-medicate (escape from) his emotional and psychological pain.

Bored, overworked: And feels deserving of something special that is just for him – something like hiring prostitutes, viewing porn, or having affairs. Or maybe he wants more attention from his mate and thinks a period of his pulling away will cause her to comply.

Reasons women cheat

Women thrive on emotional attachment in their relationships. When work pressure on their men, prolonged absence from home, and other reasons snap the cord, the woman becomes emotionally starved and lonely. Left lonely in marriage, the woman naturally turns elsewhere for emotional attachment and stability.

Experts are agreed on these other reasons:

Low self-esteem: Women with low self-esteem, depression, unresolved childhood trauma trauma, and other similar issues may seek validation through romantic and sexual activity. If someone wants them in “that way,” they feel worthwhile, desirable, wanted, needed, and loveable.

Revenge: Sometimes women feel betrayed by their partner (usually either financially or sexually), and they use infidelity as a way to retaliate.

Lack of Sex at Home: Women usually enjoy the physical act of lovemaking as much as men do, and they also enjoy the feeling of being wanted, needed, and desired. Rather than end the relationship, they may seek a little sex on the side as a way to meet their physical needs.

Unrealistic Expectations: Some women expect their partner to meet their every need and desire (even when they don’t bother to share what those needs and desires are). When their partner inevitably fails them, these women will sometimes turn to someone else.

Wanting to Leave a Relationship: Some women find it easier to cheat to force their partner to end the relationship, rather than ending it more directly or assertively. Other women know they want to leave, but they are not willing to do so until they’ve got another relationship lined up.

Infidelity-prone professions

According a recent survey, there are certain professions where more people cheat on their partners. However, it is unclear if the jobs themselves promote infidelity, or that people predisposed to cheat are more likely to seek out these professions.

Individuals working in the finance field, such as brokers, bankers, and analysts, were found to be more likely to cheat than those in any other profession. Following those in finance are those in the aviation field, healthcare, business, and sports.

Here is the full list of nine professions from the survey conducted for an infidelity dating website:

• Financial (Bankers, brokers, analysts)
• Aviation (Pilots, flight attendants, flight pursers)
• Healthcare (Doctors, nurses, nursing assistants)
• Business (CEOs, managers, secretaries)
• Sports (Athletes, instructors, representatives, etc.)
• Arts (Musicians, models, actors, photographers)
• Nightlife Industry (DJs, dancers, waiters)
• Communication (Journalists, public relations, communicators)
• Legal (Lawyers, secretaries, prosecutors, judges)

The survey found that two-thirds cheated at work, despite 85 per cent saying it was better to avoiding relationships with colleagues.

The study by Sigurd Vedal, founder and chief executive of Victoria Milan in a poll of 5,658 cheating women, was conducted by Victoria Milan, a dating website for married and attached people looking to cheat.

He said: “The survey clearly shows that even though there’s a risk to your career, having an affair at work makes life a lot more pleasant for some people.

The poll also revealed that two out of three unfaithful women (65 per cent) say they cheat at work.

However, some people believe that in Nigeria, where politics in the top money-spinning game in town, politicians, especially male politicians, should be high on this list of those who cheat on their partners.