How To Let Go Of Materialism

31 Oct How To Let Go Of Materialism

Studies show that letting go of materialistic tendencies is a smart move, but it happens with a bit of patience and the right strategies like the following.

Pursuing Intrinsic Goals, Not Extrinsic Goals: Social psychologists differ between two different motivations or goals that people have. I wonder if you can spot where materialists fit in.

* Extrinsic goals. These are all about becoming rich or famous, seeking power over others, and polishing your public image. They are all about “making it”. They are a means to an end. They are about achieving a certain desired outcome while completely neglecting the process of getting there.

* Intrinsic goals. These are goals that fuel who you are as a person. They fulfill you deeply. And most importantly, they fulfill your core human needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness. They are about enjoying the journey. Whereas extrinsic goals are only a means to an end, intrinsic goals are an end onto themselves. They are personally meaningful to you and you would engage in them just for the sake of it (without desiring some ulterior motive).

Materialists are a prime example of people who are pursuing extrinsic goals.

Which is why materialism is making people so miserable. Extrinsic goals have been shown to lead to poor mental health, anxiety, depression, narcissism, and even poorer social functioning.

Realizing That Materialism Is Based On A Flawed Assumption: There’s a reason why so many of us pursue extrinsic goals and fall prey to materialistic thinking. Heidi Grant Halvorson, a social psychologist and goal expert, explains in her book Succeed: “Psychologists Deci and Ryan argue that we turn to these superficial goals, these external sources of self-worth, when our needs for autonomy, relatedness, and competence are thwarted again and again. This can happen when we find ourselves trapped in situations that are too controlling (robbing us of our sense of personal freedom), overchallenging (robbing us of our sense of competence), or rejecting (robbing us of our sense of relatedness).

In other words, when we are under too much pressure or denied choices, when we feel we can’t do anything right, and when we are lonely and lack meaningful relationships with others, we turn to goals that aren’t very good for us as a kind of defensive strategy. ‘If I can’t get the love I need in my life, then I’ll become rich and famous and people will love me for that.’”

We pursue extrinsic goals when our core human needs for autonomy, relatedness, and competence aren’t being met. We then believe (oftentimes unconsciously) that these needs will get met once we’re rich or famous or more powerful.

This is the flawed assumption materialism is based on. We think we need all this stuff before we can be happy. Skip the materialism trap and go straight towards getting your needs met and being happy

Gratitude is the Counterbalance to Materialism: Being grateful makes you happier, increases feelings of joy, connectedness, love, optimism, and enthusiasm, decreases feelings of greed, bitterness, and resentment, improves your sleep, makes you physically healthier, and so on.

As far as materialism is concerned, gratitude is kind of a counterbalance. The two are mutually exclusive; as one goes up the other comes down. When gratitude increases, materialism decreases. And vice-versa.

This makes a lot of sense if you think about it.

Gratitude means acknowledging and appreciating all the good things in your life. Instead of taking things for granted, you savor and fully enjoy them. You feel as if the cup is already full or even overflowing. If you are fully satisfied with what you have, the thought of getting more has barely a chance to enter your mind.

Materialism works the exact opposite way. You take things for granted and locate the sources of your happiness in shiny new objects.

Better Information: John Bargh, an expert in the field, defines it like this, ‘Priming refers to the incidental activation of knowledge structures, such as trait concepts and stereotypes, by the current situational context.’

In a nutshell, it means that something in your environment activates a representation or association in your mind – which then influences your behavior and thought patterns.

For example, a woman shown a photograph of Angela Merkel (a powerful political figure) will deliver a more empowered and confident speech. Someone shown the Apple logo will become more creative. Or someone reading a story of old people will start to walk and talk slower.

What has that to do with materialism? Well, it has everything to do with it because you’re probably priming yourself for being more materialistic all the time.

Participants who were repeatedly exposed to images of luxury items, to messages that portrayed consumers rather than citizens, and to words associated with materialism (e.g. status, money, buy, asset, and expensive), experienced immediate temporary increases in anxiety, depression, and materialistic aspirations. They also became more selfish and competitive, were less inclined to join in on demanding social activities, and had an overall reduced sense of social responsibility.

Now, you better believe that advertisement agencies are well aware of these effects. Which means that the vast majority of ads you see or read or hear are designed to prime you into a materialistic frame of mind so that you buy their stuff.

Investing In Social Relationships: Materialistic people tend to overvalue money and possessions while undervaluing social relationships.

If your main concern is to get rich and famous as fast as possible, it only makes sense that you have less time for social relationships.

This can become problematic because research has shown that social isolation and materialism go hand in hand: isolation fosters materialism and materialism fosters isolation.

This can lead to a vicious cycle. As you value materialistic possessions more and more, you begin to spend less and less time with friends and family. As you spend less time with friends and family, you become more socially isolated, and thus even more materialistic. And so on…

Now look, I am not saying that you shouldn’t spend time working on your business or your own personal development or engaging in hobbies. The point here is that you need to find a balance. Yes, take time for your own stuff, but also make sure you’re not neglecting your social relationships along the way.

Conclusion: Materialism is dangerous to our health and well-being. It has been shown to deplete our happiness, threaten our relationships, and render us less friendly, likable, and empathetic, while simultaneously making us more anxious, depressed, and selfish. (NILS AND JONAS SALZGEBER)